Yes, I know it’s an odd title for a blog post but that’s where I am. Stood at the top of my mountain. 12 months ago I dreamed of a better life, of being at home with my kids more, of doing a job I was passionate about and pretty much to the day I have achieved my goal within a year.None of this was luck, it took blood, sweat & tears to get to this point and I am immensely proud of myself and my hard work.But what now ??? Is it o.k to just sit up here for a while, swing my legs over the ledge and enjoy the view or am I supposed to look at the next bigger mountain and start trying to climb that? I am not really asking you as my readers, I am asking myself. I have put my mind and body through 12 months of trauma finally deciding to quit my old job, investing £2000 in a course I didn’t know if I would pass or get work from and living on less money than your average teenager. So can I officially give myself a break? You would think I would be proud of my achievements and happy to enjoy the view but I still have this burning desire to start climbing bigger, tougher mountains. I am not sure this feeling will ever go away however many mountains I climb.
I have learnt a hell of a lot about myself in the last 6 months. I dipped my toes into being a stay at home mum while I did my training and however much it was a beautiful bonding experience, I also found it extremely frustrating and lonely. Having had a very social ( but stressful) career for 7 years being at home with a 2-year-old day in day out made life feel very isolated. My return to the working world has been a breath of fresh air and I am sure I have made up for 6 months of lost conversation by chewing my colleague’s ears off this week. It’s always been a bit of a joke about my lack of skills in the kitchen but truthfully I hate cooking.I really tried to prepare healthy, home-cooked meals but 99% of the time they tasted awful and we ended up at McDonald’s. I also hate cleaning. I love the look of a sparkling clean house but when you have 2 kids under 6 messing it up behind you, enthusiasm and pride soon go out the window in favour of shutting the blinds so the neighbours can’t see the 5 days worth of pots & washing piling up in your kitchen. The main thing I have learnt about myself and sorry to be brash is I like money. I like the pride of earning my own wage and being able to buy pretty things. Not so much the desire to buy expensive handbags anymore but just to know if I wanted to I could. I like expensive meals and spa days with friends and although Primark is my Prada I also enjoy the thrill of buying the occasional bit of Gucci to bling up my outfit.
So, here goes. The top of my mountain has taken 12 months to reach and In the course of my trek, I have seen done some serious soul-searching. The view maybe sweet from this one but I get the feeling it won’t be long before I am pulling my weary ass up the next one. Onwards and upwards, onwards & upwards ………….