It has been 12 months since I wrote my last blog, the reason is in the title. I have tried to write several, but the 1st line of any blog ( fashion, travel, food ) is always ‘My Dad’s Dead’. I felt that maybe it was time I wrote and published the words, to cure my writer’s block.
Greif can be a funny fucker and keeps showing up at the most inconvenient times, doing the ASDA shop, watching a school play, walking past my Dad’s favourite pork pie shop. I am not the 1st and will not be the last to lose a parent and I thank my lucky stars I had my Dad for 40 years. In the words of the Queen “Grief is the price we pay for love.”
5 years ago in the quiet, solo depths of post-natal depression, I needed help. I had 2 beautiful children, a happy marriage and lots of lovely friends, but I couldn’t see any of that for the black cloud that enveloped my being. I was brave enough to go to the Dr and he suggested a lovely box of pills and some talking therapy ( with a 6-month waitlist). While sitting in the car, clutching the prescription, a little voice inside me whispered ‘Enough’.
24hrs later with no clue what I was doing I set about starting a blog as a sort of therapy. The idea was to give me a new focus away from the black cloud of PND and though I didn’t know it at the time my blog would come to change my life.
Over the last couple of months, something ( apart from Dad ) has been missing. It felt like I needed to call an old friend for a chat but after scrolling through my phone, I couldn’t figure out who. It’s only within the last 48hr and after 2 separate conversations I realised I need to be here again. That little voice inside me has returned.
I am not even sure that people read blogs anymore, I may be publishing this into the black hole of Abyss but something stopped me from closing this blog down last year. She ( BecciAlexis) has waited patiently for me to know when the time is right and to quote myself from my 1st ever blog, back on the 04th of July 2016 – ” I am not writing this blog for sympathy, more to keep a note of the utter crazy situations I now find myself in daily”
So we are going to go back to the good old days when this blog was my sort of diary, making you laugh with stories of life, my fashion style, our family travels and most of all building the little community we had.
So thank you for reading, I hope you will come back to read more and I promise the next one will be a little more light-hearted.